Sunday, February 10, 2013

The Touch Of The Masters Hand

For those of you who haven't heard this poem before, here is a link to read it. The rest of the post will make sense if you read it.
The Touch Of The Masters Hand

Today was a very moving day for me. And it came after a day that exhausted me. In order for you to fully grasp what the day meant to me you have to know some details.

After years of being less active I went back to church. I would be lying if i said I was perfect in my attendance. However, I gave up the lifestyle I was living. About 3 months ago I got comfortable, once I received one of the greatest blessings of a good job. I started enjoying my weekends off, which included not going to church often enough. This of course started taking its toll, I have found I have been feeling "low" a lot easier than I did when I was going to church each Sunday. However, I still didn't care enough to go to church for 3 hours. Id go for sacrament sometimes, and then just leave after.

Knowing that this week was going to be a little bit harder for me to bare than the norm because of 2 holidays. I decided to go today, well and because my Home Teacher kept asking to see me and I figured at the time this would shut him up for a month. The transition for me from the YSA ward to the Mid-singles was rough. I had no desire to be in a ward of 300+ people. The Family wards just hurt, because they always talk about finding love, families, marriage, and blah blah blah. I felt truly like a lost sheep. Today I met with my Home Teacher before church, and he asked me to tell him a bit about me. Pretty soon this poor man and his wife knew more about me than he cared to I am sure. Tears were shared as I expressed my confusion why SO many people around me see how special, amazing, and wonderful I am, but how not a single man that has the qualities I need give me the time of day. These are not qualities of a list, these are simple qualities of being LDS, being a good man. It's not like I am saying I will only marry a man that is temple worthy, and reads and prays daily, because I am not perfect in those things. As I shared that I never pictured going on 32 and having no family of my own the tears ran free. This man then spoke about marriage being eternal. And how being patient is also eternal. As he spoke I had this thought, and quickly wrote it down after. "Marriage is an eternal principle. Because it is an eternal principal there is no need to rush it, become okay with the unknown and the known will come to you" 

After this I went to sacrament. During sacrament I just sat and listened. We sang I Stand All Amazed (I can NEVER get through that song without tears) and I felt spirits lifting. Then the last speaker spoke and shared the poem above. Because I refuse myself to be auctioned cheap anymore, it is going to take someone that recognizes the touch of the masters hand in my life. He will have to be willing and able to love and support me not only in this life but in the next. As I realized this a thought from my home teacher came back to me. He said that finding the right one for me is a process. And his wife chimed in saying something to the degree of I want to make sure the right one for me is the best one. Tears flowed and I once again was reminded that just because I don't always make the best choices, I make choices that always seem to strengthen me. And if I make a choice that doesn't, I always seem to learn from it and grow. I don't want a man to love me for a season, I want a man to love me for eternity. And seeing that and feeling that today, made my single, dateless, pointless week that is about to take place a little easier to bare. Nothing says a good week like realizing you are older AND single all at once lol.

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