Sunday, December 30, 2012

Goodbye 12', Hello Lucky 13'

Last year this time my New Years Resolution was to take risks, listen to promptings, and become a strong woman.

Feb/March: I acted on a prompting/revelation given to me in a blessing by my dear friend Ryan B. I loved back to Salt Lake City. No job, or idea what was to come. My friend Amber's family took me in and was a major part of why I am where i am now. I have went through many tears to get here. I have a job I love, and I am in a home I'm comfortable in.

April/May: I put my heart on the line and took a risk. I confessed my love to a man. Although he didn't return the same feelings I had, and I was hurt pretty bad, and I still have moments where it hurts, I was forced to decide if our friendship was strong enough to withstand my disappointment. I had learned what a prompting felt like from before and told God I would/could only do this if he helped me. He did, and still does. This man is now my best friend, he knows me to my core. He has taught me so much, and still does so daily. This leads to the third thing.

Become a stronger woman: I have learned what love is, how faith works, and that there is a difference between being Christ-like and being a doormat. Most recently I have learned I am a bigger deal that I felt/thought I was. I have learned that EVERYONE at one point or another has felt what I feel. Some worse then I. I have learned comparing myself to anyone but me just gives Satan the upper hand in distracting me from my goals. Lastly, I have learned letting go SUCKS, and never ever happens how we want or as fast we want it to. But, if we keep going it does happen.

God bless you 2012, you tried to take me down. However, I outplayed, and outwitted you. I made friends, I lost friends. I decided what was important in y life, and what wasn't. I looked at where I had been for the last 13 years and decided that it was finally time to make changes to life to get to where I want to bed. I realized I am the only one who can control my destiny. And that it is clearly time to do so. So, I welcome you lucky 13' with open arms. I know you will not make it easy. But i know you will be worth it. I am thankful for my many friends who were my rock this year in many ways. You kept me going, so I was able to see all these things at the years end. God bless you and yours for this alone!