Tuesday, October 23, 2012

My Letter To The One I Love

Dear Man,

I am not truly sure I can put into words all my heart feels, all my soul speaks, or all my tears have said. What I do know is that you have changed all these things and more. My heart feels things that it has never felt before. My soul whispers things to my brain daily that cause my tears to speak. You have indeed changed my world. There is nothing about me that is the same as a year and half ago. There are parts of me that have grown so much that I am not even sure who I was before you. You have taught me so many things about myself, love, respect, honesty, and emotions.

I remember one time I asked my grandmother how she knew grandpa was the one for her. She said that it was something she felt. I smiled thinking that was the end of the sentence, then she went on. She talked about how there hasn't been a day that has gone by that her soul didn't confirm it. She talked about all the trials, fights, mishaps. She spoke of all the laughs, the love, and births of her kids. And when she did i could see this "light" in her eyes. That light is him. How do I know? Because there were countless times when I looked at you across the table, room, or during a movie and I have no doubt that light was in mine also.

I think my biggest fear right now isn't that I will die alone anymore. My biggest fear is that I won't find a man that did all the things you did. A man that makes me laugh more than I ever did at a comedy show. A man that has this way of making me instantly at peace by just a touch of his hand. A man that when he looks at me he soothes me, and causes butterflies all at the same time. A man who knows ALL my imperfections, mistakes, and things I hate about me but supports, cares, and is grateful for me for who I will be. A man that listens, but knows that if he challenges a thought of mine I will open my mind more. Most of all, a man who I can and will gladly say now, I love. And not just the kinda love you feel when you watch a love story, but the kinda love you feel during a funny comedy, and a killer action movie. The kind of love that motivates, comforts, and causes one to be at peace.

So sure, I might not ever be able to call you mine, but what i can call you my love. And for the very first time I am not ashamed of that. For the first time I do not regret it. Because now, I know what that love feels like. And now, I will not settle for anything less.

All my love,
Me

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